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What He Can Give

World of Dreams

A very vivid dream hit me last night.  I truly wish it could have lasted longer.  Started out as a trip to some kind of pet fish store or very tiny aquarium.  I was walking around with girls I didn't recognize, but seemed to be very good friends with them.  Two of us went to the bathroom, but neither of us actually had to go.  We sat in different stalls, watching each other through a mirror.  She was searching for her cell phone, but I couldn't stop my eyes from following her hands as they moved all over.  I remember her reddish-brown hair and lightly tanned skin.  We both were running our hands all over ourselves, watching through that mirror.  Nothing more happened than that, unfortunately.  We rejoined our group for some study time and I learned that someone was missing.  She left and had left something for everyone in the group, except me.  I had to leave then, and one of the girls left with me.  It was a girl I knew in high school, Katie.  We got to talking and I offered to walk her home.  She said yes and, for some reason, grabbed my hand.  That one I can't figure out.  Katie and I were pretty good friends in school, but never more than that. 

That's the first dream I remember in a while.  I just wanted to write it down.

On another note, the girl I've got a thing for has been sending me pictures of herself.  Nothing erotic, just pics of her baby-belly.  She slept with a guy once and that was her reward for it.  She's fucking sexy as Hell pregnant, though.  She keeps trying to say that she's not, but she is.  She sees herself as huge, but that's because she's always been on the small side.  I think she looks hot.  Her breast swollen, stomach rounded and everything about her so soft.....Gods, I love it.  I love her.

Oct. 21st, 2009

Good news from me for a start!  I recently went to the doctor, and I have lost almost 10 pounds!  I am so excited about it.  If I tried harder, I know that I would be losing more, but I'm starting out light until I get myself down.  I don't want to over-do it and cause myself more problems than I already have.

On a bum note:

Why do 18 year olds have to treat the rest of the world like it's stupid?  I work with a girl, let's call her Florence, who is such a girl.  18, thinks the rest of the world should bow down before her, and fuck you if you try to prove her wrong.  I, and several others, have gotten in her face about how she treats those who are older than she is.  We are the bad guys for sticking up for ourselves.  I have more experience than she does in our field of work and she thinks that just because she took classes in school, she knows more than we do.  I took her shit once and asked her as nicely as I could that she needs to knock it off.  She didn't listen, so I took things into my own hands.  Well, more when to our bosses and had them mediate things between us.  It isn't the first time she's been talked to about her attitude and demeanor toward others.  I like her, she's a sweet kid, but that's exactly what she is.  A kid.  I may not be much older than she is, only 7 years, but I've seen a lot more of the world than she has.  She needs to take herself down a few pegs.

A Whole New Me

I am changing who I am, starting now.  Physically.  I am sick and tired of being overweight and a giant lump.  I am going to change.  I'm 25 years old and the doctors are worried about my blood pressure being high.  I weigh 330 pounds.  How disgusting am I?  How could I let myself get like this?  How could I have lived in denial for so long?

It has to stop.  And now.  I'm done with how I am.  Time to see who I can be.

She's Off-Limits

I have a full-on crush for my brother's ex-girlfriend.  This goes beyond the school-girl crush of years ago.  It's not one-way, either.  We both have admitted our attraction to one another.  The biggest problems being distance (I'm in Texas, she's in Wisconsin) and the fact that she's my brother's ex.  The mother of my nephew.  And, oh yeah, I'm married.  My husband encourages my fantasies that include her.  We have often used the images that I produce when we're having sex.   He has even said that the next time we make a trip up there, we'll get a hotel room and invite her to stay with us.

I am so utterly attracted to her.  She's smart, funny, beautiful.  Wavy brown hair, gorgeous hazel brown eyes.  Perfect lightly tanned skin.  A full, curvy figure.  And tits that are simply amazing.  She's Wiccan, which is an added bonus in my eyes.  She is all I have ever wanted in a woman. 

But part of my mind will always see her as my nephew's mother and my brother's ex-girlfriend.  She will always seem off-limits because of this.  I am so torn and wrapped up and just confused about this.
RIP John Hughes. In honor of the master of the teen movie, what is your favorite teen flick?
Mr. Hughes' passing came as a shock to me.  I was a big fan of his movies 'The Breakfast Club', 'Sixteen Candles', and 'FBDO'.  Who didn't fall in love with Judd Nelson or Anthony Michael Hall?  It really made me sad to see that he passed.  From the age of nine, those were my favorite movies.  To this day, whenever any one of them is on, I will watch it.  I don't remember much about the music from 'Sixteen Candles,' but the song 'Don't You Forget About Me' is one of my favorites.  And the crazy song near the end of Ferris when he's racing his family back home.  Definitely good.  The teen movies today are all the same thing.  Get the geeky girl cool, the cool-guy asks her out and they boink like bunnies at the end.  'Nuff said.

Loss In My Family

~Town of Amherst man dies today in car crash


July 18, 2009

AMHERST — A 73-year-old man died this afternoon after the pick-up truck he was driving hit a tree, according to the Portage County Sheriff’s Department.


The town of Amherst man was driving northbound on Isaacson Road near Bestul Road when the truck drifted to the right and struck a tree shortly after 2 p.m., according to a news release.


The man was pronounced dead at the scene by the Portage County Coroner. Amherst EMS, Fire and Rescue and Portage County deputies responded to the scene.


The name of the man is not being released at this time.


The coroner is investigating the cause of death and the sheriff's department is investigating the crash.~

This little article was taken out of the Stevens Point Journal from Stevens Point, WI.  It's where I grew up.  The story is of my great-grandfather.  My dad called me today and informed me of his passing.  I'm in that place between shock and disbelief.  I just don't want it to be true.  I break down and cry for a while, then I sit and stare like I'm in a dream. 

I have nothing but good memories about him.  He was a farmer, and from the time we were little, we got to go out and help plant vegetables in the fields.  We got to help milk the cows.  Played with the chickens and turkeys.  We even teased his mean ol' bull when we were brave enough.  My great-grandmother, his wife, passed away almost 15 years ago of cancer.  They were both such loving people.  My great-grandma had the best green-house I'd ever seen.  She had so many different kinds of pretty flowers.  People came from miles away for the ones she grew.  I remember when there were tornadoes one time we were visiting and we had to go to their cellar.  Not a basement, a cellar.  I remember meals at their house.  They had several wood-burning stoves.  Great-grandma was a talented artist.  She painted and assembled little cherubs and sold them. 

I will miss him so much....

That Dirty Feeling

Tell me that this isn't weird.

My mom called me today and we were shootin the breeze.  She tells me that she's watching 'The Fugitive' with Harrison Ford.  He is a very hot man.  I don't care who you are, you know he's hot.  She just happened to mention that Harrison is 60-somthing years old.  All I can think is, "Wow.  He's frickin' hot." 

My mom ruins that thought with, "Yeah.  It's hard to believe that he's the same age as my father."

*DIES* X-(

I do not want to picture Harrison Ford with my grandfather.

She said that, and I wanted to jump into the shower and just scrub myself raw.  I pictured Harrison in my head in all his gorgeous-glory and the image of Grandpa flying in just threw it out the window. 

What a turn-off.